Brits on Pole

David “Potty-Mouth” Coulthard may well have been warned to stay away from every microphone in Malaysia after his colourful threats to take on Felipe Massa were broadcast live and uncensored during the Australian Grand Prix.

But, if the most recent rumour out of the Sepang paddock is to be believed, this latest lapse into laddishness might not deter the BBC from signing him up as a commentator when his driving career finally ends.

It is important to stress that this is no more than a rumour at the moment, and there are no proper sources for it.

But the thought process goes like this: DC has been racing on borrowed time at Red Bull for at least two years now and his future there in 2009 must be under question.

The BBC has just won a prestigious contract to expand Formula One broadcast coverage - surely this is a match made in heaven?

Well, yes and no. On the one hand there can be few people around who know the sport better than he does. And he’s demonstrated a great aptitude over the years for pithy summary and interesting comments. He’ll almost certainly do a great job and we’ve always suspected that he might end up doing this.

On the other hand, we can remember at least four occasions in recent years when he’s forgotten himself while on air - without having to try very hard at all.

Once, towards the end of his time with McLaren, he managed to say “bollocks” during a live ITV broadcast going out at Sunday lunchtime.

It caused a very flustered Martin Brundle who is, of course, Coulthard’s manager, to switch away from him with extreme rapidity.

Twice he has made grossly unprofessional and deeply offensive comments to ITV’s Louise Goodman - on one occasion so severe that the channel went most of the rest of the season without interviewing him again.

And then there was the Australia incident.

The rumours have it that Coulthard, whose reputation for laddish behaviour once knew no equal in the F1 paddock, might end up being paired with Top Gear’s Richard Hammond.

Er, right. That’s going to go really well, isn’t it?

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